Half-and-half Shakespearean scarves, scouting for Shevchenko & the half-dozen crisis

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: a stand-out candidate for commentator's curse of the season, a worrying statistic for Pep Guardiola, the prospect of the first-ever top-flight season without a six-goal win, a confusing abbrevation of Wolverhampton Wanderers, half-and-half scarves at the theatre, Omar Marmoush’s convoluted claim to footballing supremacy, and Richard Keys takes on the continentals.

Meanwhile, the panel discover the formation of choice for non-football fans and ponder the psychology behind it.

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