THE GREAT BRITISH STAR OFF ⭐ LRZ vs POLLOCK

Louis Rees-Zammit vs Henry Pollock. Two of rugby’s biggest young superstars. Two enormous personalities. And now apparently… a celebration war. 😂

LRZ is absolutely FLYING for Bristol — so what has changed this season, why does he suddenly look so dangerous again, and what about that Pollock trolling?! 👀

Meanwhile, Pedro Rubiolo appears to have developed a genuine propensity for violence — including chasing kicks like a man personally offended by the existence of the opposition. Max approves. Obviously. 😂

Elsewhere in another completely normal episode of Maul or Nothing…

🔪 Has Aaron Wainwright accidentally entered his Jeffrey Dahmer era?

🍆 Naked Attraction comes up, which naturally leads to the far more important question: how much money would it actually take to get Max Lahiff to do a naked calendar?

🇦🇺 And Mark Nawaqanitawase signs off from the NRL in ridiculous fashion — TWO tries in the 2026 Grand Final as the Roosters come from 12–0 down to beat Newcastle 19–18. Now he’s heading back to union… and suddenly the Wallabies’ wing cupboard looks absolutely FILTHY.

🏉 THE 2026/27 PREM

🐻 Bristol v Northampton

LRZ vs Pollock brings the stardust, Bristol make another statement and Rubiolo is immense. Plus, what exactly has changed with the way the driving maul is being refereed?

🦈 Saracens v Sale

Naughty, naughty Jacques Vermeulen… Sale somehow go down to THIRTEEN men and still leave StoneX with the win. And Nathan Jibulu is looking like an absurdly complete rugby player — sort the darts and how high is his ceiling?

🔵 Bath 40–34 Exeter

Immanuel Feyi-Waboso looking borderline unplayable while the Bath pack starts purring.

🍒 Gloucester 48–0 Harlequins

FORTY. EIGHT. NIL. 😳 Against Quins. Jac Morgan, Dewi Lake and the Welsh contingent are already being adopted by The Shed.

🐯 Newcastle 19–24 Leicester

No win yet for the Red Bull revolution — but 10,210 packed into Kingston Park and Newcastle made Tigers seriously sweat.

🌍 THE URC

🏰 Edinburgh are 2 from 2 after following up their Ulster win by beating the Stormers. Are Edinburgh quietly becoming… good?! They’ve even impressed their harshest critic: Ryan Wilson.

☘️ Ciarán Frawley leaves Leinster to become THE GUY at Connacht… and immediately starts doing The Guy things. Two tries against Benetton including the 77th-minute winner. Stuart Lancaster + Frawley could be a very tasty reunion.

🦈 Sharks 26–20 Leinster — the defending champions are 0–2. Yes, yes, young squad, South African tour, nobody burn down Dublin just yet… but it IS very funny.

🍺 Glasgow 33–33 Ulster — cards, momentum swings, both sides down to 13 at different stages and George Horne hits the post late on. Essentially a rugby match played after everyone involved had consumed six pints.

🔴 Munster 26–22 Bulls — another big early-season result at Thomond Park.

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