Money-grabbing gargoyles, John Stones' meta-knackered shoulder & Farmer Alan Shearer

Adam Hurrey is joined on the Adjudication Panel by David Walker and Nick Miller. On the agenda: European superclubs coming over here and stealing our groundsmen, Henry Winter on Falklands defence budgets, Gianni Infantino the "money-grabbing gargoyle", the inevitable moment for Wenger's Law, a Cliches deep cut buried in an obscure seven-a-side livestream, Sean Dyche’s surprisingly convoluted "top 3 pints", unacceptable penalty descriptions, Scotland gives us a new verb for a thrashing, John Stones’ comedy shoulder, the finer details of set-piece guru Austin MacPhee’s Chelsea move, the concept of an England football team at the Commonwealth Games, and a Welsh farmer with Alan Shearer’s voice.

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