Jürgen? Fancy it?

Marcus, Jim and Pete dust themselves down after a proper European goal fest, as Liverpool continue to suffer their worst run of form since the mid-1950s. Probably wasn’t ideal that Virgil van Dijk was trying to referee the game from centre-back and PSV’s Ivan Perišić kept slurping from the Fountain of Football Youth.

Elsewhere, Arsenal reach another level against Bayern, Spurs put in a better showing against PSG and Sheffield Wednesday are faced with the grimmest ownership choice imaginable: merge with Sheffield United… or Mike Ashley. Fold it. Fold the club.

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